Manny's Manifesto of all things Santos!

by Emmanuel Santos

The world is the source of all cheese wielding beings.
The world is like a Slim Jim in the hands of Randy Savage.

Life is the ride down a one-way road given to each generation of living beings.
Life is like a diskette in the hands of a 3-year-old, it won't last long.

Love is like that last, tiny burnt chip at the bottom of the bag.
Love is just like AOL installed on a computer, it will never leave.

I am the king and queen of pasquinade.
I am the one known as the artist formerly known as luggage.
I am declaring that diets, although effective, hoover.
I am the epitome of all things lazy.
I am always having a fit of boredom when writing.

I believe rainbows are nothing but a refraction of light.
I believe that all learning material should be taught IN school.
I believe that overclocking a CPU can be very risky procedure.
I believe that videogames should be priced by gameplay, and not age.
I believe that this trackball mouse is better than I thought.

I wonder what would happen if I mix every household chemical at once.
I wonder how exactly fiber optic beams can be translated to data.
I wonder where I could find a good R/C airplane at a price less than $100
I wonder why people are so gullible when it comes to AOL.
I wonder when I'll be able to have a real vacation and not just stay home.

I try to get the highest grade I can get in school
I try to understand the complicated language of 1's and 0's.
I try not to worry about anything but my problems for now.
I try to play as much games as time would let me.
I try to do all of my homework fast so I can have some fun later.

I breathe a lot of oxygen.
I breathe enough in one blow to fill 10 mini balloons.

I move like a riverdancer walking over hot coals.
I move like laxative in yo' grandma's bowels.

I hope that the army payment plans increase before I join.
I hope that I will at least pass life management with a C.
I hope I never see another bug in a toffee lollipop again.
I hope to never witness another Kevin L. Manning seminar.
I hope that I will get a prepaid credit card for Christmas.

When I burp, I taste whatever it is I last ate.
When a disk doesn't work, I crush it with my bare hands.
When I bid on Ebay, I get so excited and caught up in it.
When I graduate, I will still have crappy vacations.
When I play games, I forget all about the stress of everything.