Place Bust-a-Rhyme Poetry Contest Winner, 2007
No more laughter and butterflies,
No more smiles and stars in my eyes
Nothing but heartache and pain and
After you gave me that ring my name didn’t even stay the same,
It’s like my whole world had changed
And the person I once knew was gone.
Like a chameleon in the rain forest, hidden within the trees
I arranged my appearance to what you thought it should be
This brought about my insecurities and my dreams just faded away but,
I did it for you.
My personality insipid and my attitude morose
Because I…gave up the things that I favored the most,
Just to please you…but it didn’t work.
You continued to vilify me with your words
Because I couldn’t’ be how you wanted me to be but,
I tried my hardest and I tried my best but,
I can only do so much.
You had a didactic attitude because you were intended to instruct
Teach me to be your perfect woman
And even though I wanted so badly
For you to love me for me, my trepidation made me reticent.
Unable to speak my mind and my feelings become clandestine
Because you were stoic and they didn’t matter.
My words were never right so I was trained not to speak
My body felt weak
And I’d cry myself to sleep
It’s like you had stolen my identity,
Because I was no longer myself.
My house wasn’t my own,
My money wasn’t my own,
My decisions weren’t my own and
My opinions were overthrown
It’s like I was nonexistent.
My breasts weren’t big enough, so I had an operation,
My eyes weren’t pretty enough, so I bought them fake,
My hair was too short and curly, so I got extensions and made it straight.
My body was too plum, so you limited my meals,
My height was too short, so I was made to wear heels
And my skin was too light, so I had to get a tan
But what happened to just taking me as I am.
The flat chested, full figured, short haired dwarf
That you loved for a lot more than what you’re worth.
I may not be as pretty as a super model
Or shaped like a coca cola bottle,
Not as skinny as a tooth pick
And my hair don’t flow down my back,
My eyes are not as blue as the sea, and I may only stand 5’0
But I deserve a lot more than you give me!
I spent so much time trying to gain your acceptance,
That I let myself go…
My courage faded away with each fear,
My soul slipped away with each tear,
My esteem declined with each word
And my outspoken voice became unheard,
It’s like you killed my spirit with every verb.
I’d look to the left and I’d see my style,
I’d look to the right and I’d see my smile,
I’d look straight ahead and see my face hidden beneath a mask,
Then I’d look back and see myself in the past
I’d look in the mirror but see an image not my own.
My face was the same,
My eyes was the same
My lips were the same
And my complexion was the same, but yet
My image had changed and this person was unknown,
But I couldn’t let this go on for long so
I gave you back that lock and chain that you called a ring,
That stamp on my papers that was your last name
And I took back my claim on my life.
I got back my voice and my freedom of choice
And I took back what I owned.
I outgrew that girl that you tried to raise,
Recreated that person that u thought u made
And used that voice that you said you gave me,
You destroyed my soul when you thought you saved me,
Messed up my life when you rearranged me,
Made me despise you because you tried to change me
And made me hate you because I thought you loved me
But, I guess I was wrong.
I took it upon myself to leave you alone
Get back on track because I just had to get my life back so,
I went to the bank of my mind
Listened to my attorney called CONSCIENCE
Spoke to my savior called GOD,
Got a new social security called PERSPECTIVE
Deposited in a few needs and withdrew a better me
That lead on my way to a new identity
To replace the one…YOU STOLE FROM ME!!